Welcome to the musical version of existentialism.
“Old enough to understand.”
[Verse 1]
The great protector
Is that what I'm supposed to be?
What if all this counts for nothing
Everything I thought I'd be?
What if by the time I realize
It's too far behind to see?
Seventy-mil projector
I can show you everything, yeah
And we're on our way to glory
Where the show won't ever end
And the encore lasts forever
And it's time we're due to spend
[Verse 2]
Spending the years together
Growing older every day (Every day)
I feel at home when I'm around you
And I'll gladly say again
I hope the encore lasts forever
Now there's time for us to spend
And it's sublime with you, my friend
This right here still feels like a honeymoon
When you say my name, nothing's changed
I'm still a boy inside my thoughts
Am I meant to understand my faults?
[Chorus]
I don't think so
I don't think I'm meant to understand myself
Maybe you do
And that's good for you
Maybe in time
Maybe one day
I'll do the same
(I'll do the same
I'll do the same
I'll do the same)
[Bridge]
I'll do the same as you
I'll try and hold it up
Soon I hope
Or as soon as I'm old enough
(Old enough to understand
Old enough to understand)
[Outro] Stay forever, you know more than anyone (Yeah, whoa) And it's you that knows my darkness And you know my bedroom needs You could blast me and my secrets But there's probably just no need
My Analysis
ex·is·ten·tial·ism | \ ˌeg-(ˌ)zi-ˈsten(t)-shə-ˌli-zəm
a philosophy that emphasizes individual existence, freedom and choice. It is the view that humans define their own meaning in life, and try to make rational decisions despite existing in an irrational universe.
Rex Orange County, or Alex O’Connor, starts with a playful melody and beat, masking the deeper lyrics that reveal his own contemplation with life in Pluto Projector, a single off his new album Pony.
When we’re growing up, we have a set daily routine, list of rules to live by, chores, and a lot of “hard” work. Were you told at a young age not to ask about a woman’s age or if she’s pregnant? Did you have chores? These things were the first glimpses into adulthood. Filtering our words is extremely difficult now because people test our patience more easily. Chores are now jobs that require skill, communication, and flexibility. And while all these things were challenging, we were told they’d benefit our futures. It’s all leading up to something glorious, right? And the everlasting encore is a peaceful retirement with no debt or burdens, knowing we’ve reached our fullest potential and successes.
Further into the song, Alex frankly states his perceptions of life. He knows he doesn’t understand the meaning of life, but believes that he will when he’s old enough. Alex is 21. I’m sure we all plan on drinking to celebrate when we turn 21, rather than having an existential crisis like this. But he has a point. When are we supposed to understand? When will the great revelation happen? Will we know when it does? Will we be able to recognize it? Do you think your parents know the meaning of life? Prolly not, if I’m being honest. We’re all just going with the flow, not knowing what’ll happen next. Think about things like falling in love and getting injured - they happen so instantaneously that we’re like “shit, well, guess I gotta keep going with this thing also in my life.” and we keep living the way we think we’re supposed to. Our parents are probably the same way, except they know how to kill spiders and attempt to take care of smaller versions of themselves. Our parents set the rules of the house, but who set the rules of life? Who distinguished the stages of life we’re expected to go through? Ok, now that your brain hurts, let’s take a break to listen to this part of the song: 3:20-3:55 of Pluto Projector.
Please close your eyes for those 35 seconds, and turn the volume up high. This segment of the song always gives me chills no matter where I am when listening to it. The use of an orchestra is pretty uncommon in most modern music that our generation listens to. This free flowing instrumental aspect can aid in a reflection or just a moment of peace in my day. It’s just so beautiful. Back to deep thinking.
The last verse is the revelation where we see he is talking about someone he loves, as well as his his self-reflection on life. You don’t need to know everything about life. That would be pretty overwhelming, in my opinion. Sharing your thoughts and feelings with other people helps take some weight off your shoulders. Falling in love is having someone who knows you nearly or entirely as much as you know yourself. Finding that life-long partner is like melting chocolate into whole milk. Is that a weird analysis, sure! But the thing is, that is a wonderful combination and just works. After that, they’re inseparable. Two become one. With people, in order to become one, both sides have to know everything - even the difficult things like fears, secrets, and masked personality traits. The thing is, it’s never perfect. There are times of hardship and arguments, but it’s that trust and love that keeps the relationship going. That’s what he’s talking about in the final verse of his song. However, you truly cannot love someone else without loving yourself first.
Self-love and care is extremely prevalent in the last two songs of the album. In “it gets better,” he continues to talk about this relationship and goes as far as explaining the positive impact they’ve had on each other by establishing a trustworthy and balanced support system. Part of getting help is helping someone else in return. It’s the idea of bouncing struggles, accomplishments, and ideas off of each other in an honest and healthy way by talking through everything or just simply being there for each other.
In “it’s not the same anymore,” Alex truly understands himself and what he needs to do for his mental health. He accepts that getting help is difficult and undesirable, but he needs it, so he makes the conscious effort to benefit himself. We can see this more concretely in his instagram post in which he talks about how this album has affected him, claiming it will change his life.
My point is this: We can’t live life believing that we’ll someday understand its purpose. We are meant to just exist and live life as fully as we can. And, if we get lucky, we get to share that existence with someone else.
“Lia, don’t you think this is just some sappy love song to his girlfriend? Like, really, it’s not that deep.” Maybe you’re right! Remember, this is just my interpretation and has not been confirmed by the artist. :)
Comments